Archive for July, 2009

• Buzz Aldrin, et al are on NASA TV now talking about the future of the American space program. #
• Moon Specials on TV today: http://bit.ly/aDQ3b #
• The Saturn V (imagine sitting atop this beast) http://twitpic.com/b0p49 #fb #
• When my son finally potty trained, I expected him to occasionally wet his pants. I didn't, however, expect him to occasionally wet MY pants. #
• Great lunch today with @markclement . Very cool, very interesting guy. GIve him a follow! #
• Well, it finally happened. I'm tweetless. #
• Okay, I just found my 3 y.o. standing in his sister's doorway reciting a list of all the groceries we need. *sigh…* #fb #
• A plumber came to the house today to fix a leak. His name? Bubba. Seriously. #
• RT @liajen: RT @Lotay: Don't worry about who "follows" you, who "unfollows" you, etc. Just be yourself, have fun, and #RockOn (Hear! Hear! ) #
• It's been about 15 years; has anyone determined who exactly let the dogs out? #fb #
• LEGO Store takes shape at Riverchase Galleria http://twitpic.com/b8sdb #fb #
• RT @ikepigott: "Why everything sucks" by Craig Ferguson: http://bit.ly/ec3h – brilliant & frighteningly accurate #
• Observations on making Mamwiches #
• Observations on making Manwiches: 1. I'm obviously living in the 70s, and 2. I think this sauce is just ketchup. #fb #
• Since @BirminghamWorks asked (or not) I had an errant Tweet – Tweetdeck for iPhone is not ergonomic for those with kielbasa-sized thumbs. in reply to BirminghamWorks #
• Morning all! I think I may have started my first novel late last night. (I'll let you know when I re-read it after coffee.) #
• There are some weird-looking deposits in our water after the visit from Bubba the Plumber. Here's hoping the coffee killed them… #
• I just finished the first draft of the first chapter of my first novel. I think I may be onto something… #
• I'm not happy about the new version of Final Cut Studio. #fcp #
• Classic Wannabe: On Cavemen, Green Living and Disposable Electronics http://bit.ly/17rqdu #
• Who watches the Watchmen? Apparently I do… at 10:40pm… for nearly 3 hours. What was I thinking? #fb #
• Getting the house ready for a sleepover tonight to celebrate my daughter's 8th birthday. (I think we boys are planning an escape!) #fb #
• Thinking about posting first drafts of each chapter of my novel on my website. Good idea or bad? #fb #
• New post: Let the Writing Begin — details on my self-deluded attempt at writing a novel. http://bit.ly/kBmEt #fb #
• Is it just me, or does Wal-Mart's Great Value orange juice taste like it was filtered through meat and infused with aluminum? #
• RT @brianveronica1: Braveheart producer: "There is a spiritual war going on… be part of that battle" http://bit.ly/f7PWd #
• If you didn't follow @donttrythis (Mythbuster Adam Savage) and his #adamincognito antics yesterday, here's a primer: http://bit.ly/glmGL #
• Morning all! Still five girls here from the slumber party. No one should have to hear this much squealing on only one cup of joe. #
• RT @Discovery: Who'll upload a pic of #adamincognito today?! Here's a primer: http://bit.ly/glmGL (via @wannabef) #sdcc #mythbusters #
• Sweet! @Discovery posted a link to my @aldotcom article about @donttrythis and his #adamincognito act! (@MCuthbert, Front page, perhaps?) #
• Mythbuster Becomes Myth – al.com http://ow.ly/iaSP #fb #
• I'm going to try to knock out some of chapter two today: "The Mystery of the Towel Baby Couple." #
• Our annual Christmas in July celebration is in full swing. My daughter & mother-in-law share a b'day on 26th, my mom on 28th. Present time! #
• RT @donttrythis: I've been found! #adamincognito #
• Happy Birthday to my beautiful daughter, Savannah, who will be 8 at 5:04 pm and to my mother-in-law, Katie (who is a few years older!) #

As early as grade school, I remember teachers, friends and family members trying to convince me to be a writer. I would argue that there was one monumental problem with that idea: I didn’t like to read. As a kid, I was always playing, always on the go — hunting birds and squirrels in the woods behind our neighborhood (but killing few), riding bikes all over creation, riding my motorcycle on the twisty trails carved through the kudzu patch, backyard football games, tree houses, underground forts and once even trying my hand at stop-motion filmmaking. I simply couldn’t sit still to read a book. As an adult, I began to finally embrace the pleasure of reading — just in time, it turns out, to have the opportunity snatched away by the demands of parenthood and self-(un)employment.

I do some writing on a regular basis — blog post, scripts for client’s videos and commercials, a handful of screenplays. Screenwriting I could never really master. I find the form too limiting and have never been able to really find a voice as a screenwriter. A few years ago, I had the opportunity to write a few articles and a humor column for a friend’s magazine. That’s when I really got the writing bug.

I’ve had a number of ideas rolling around in my head that I’d hoped to explore as short stories, novels or graphic novels. And now, I’ve finally done it. I’ve started my first novel. (I won’t be so foolish as to use the cliché “The Great American Novel,” as it could turn out to be utter garbage.)

I’m debating as to the merits of posting snippets of the book as it progresses. I’ll decide on that soon. I will, however, post regular updates on my process.

For now, I’ll tell you this much: the title of the manuscript is Midlife Mouse and the title of the first chapter (the first draft of which is complete) is “Skulking in the Shadows of a Giant Spaceman’s Legs.” Curious?

Stay tuned for more…

They don't make 'em like they used to.

I wonder if you need a special license to have a cemetery in your basement. Don’t worry. I haven’t gone all John Wayne Gacy. (Though, with Wayne as my middle name, my life of crime is somewhat of an inevitability.) No, the corpses in my cellar are more of the high tech variety. Over the last two years, I have lost a dazzling array of electronics to the gremlins of modern technology.

Let’s run down the inventory: two laptops, two printers, three DSL modems, two wireless routers, two DVD recorders, two DVD players, a TV, several hard drives, a DirecTV dual tuner TiVO, a PowerMac and a garage door opener. Some were taken out by lightning, some just died. Now, I’m not saying I’m cursed when it comes to electronics, but you might want to think twice before getting too close with your new pacemaker.

I don’t want to become the cranky old guy who talks about how “they don’t make ‘em like they used to,” but the fact remains. Visiting my grandmother recently, I was reminded of this. You see, my late grandfather never threw out a TV. If one were beyond repair, he’d simply remove the guts from its wooden cabinet and add some shelves. He didn’t so much lose a TV as gain a rather unsightly curio.

Today, our electronics require special furniture. Back then, electronics were furniture. Maybe I should borrow one of those hollow TV carcasses from my grandmother to use as entertainment center. It’s ironic, self-referential and retro all at once — how thoroughly post-modern of me.

What to do with a dearly departed DVD player? Most are made of thin metal or plastic and therefore of no use as boat anchors. Despite the trend toward miniaturization, they’re still too big to work as paperweights. I suppose I could join forces with the other victims of engineered obsolescence, pile them up with all the recently retired VCRs and antiquated (three-year-old) computers, lash them together with the cords we once used on our phones, weight them down with those 36-inch TVs that were all the rage 10 years ago and create one heck of a manmade reef. Nah. That would require actually talking to people.

A few years back, my wife and I would occasionally get a hankering for a milkshake. Inevitably, we would go from restaurant to restaurant and get the same response, “I’m sorry. The shake machine is broken.” We would joke that milkshake machine manufacturers must have the worst quality control in the world. We could laugh because it was just a milkshake. With consumer electronics however, we’re talking life and death. We simply can’t live without our entertainment. Is there anything more vital to a good, old-fashioned, red blooded American than his thoughtless diversions?

It’s enough to make one wish for a simpler time – a time when all a man needed to get by was a solid club with which to bash his prey, a time when entertainment could be found in the flickering light of that new-fangled miracle called fire and when the height of engineering was the wheel. That’s right. I want to be a caveman.

“The medicine men and tribal chiefs will always be valued higher than the story tellers.” – Kris Wheeler

You would never hear a caveman complain that his fire keeps crashing unexpectedly, or that his “directory tree” had rotted, causing him to lose several years worth of archived smoke signals. Rarely would he need to take his wheel down to the local shade tree and try to describe the cat-like screaming it would make every time he turned left on cold mornings.

I know I’m idealizing prehistory. Historical context wouldn’t likely change the nature of my personality. I’d still be drawn toward the telling of tales. As Kris Wheeler (publisher of this magazine) reminded me, “the medicine men and tribal chiefs will always be valued higher than the story tellers.”

(We should pause here to note that I’m not making this stuff up. I actually have conversations in real life about topics like my desire to be a caveman. Your estimation of me probably just shifted from “mildly clever” to “potentially insane,” but no matter.)

I suppose a caveman could get outsourced or outmoded as easily as you or I. Imagine a dialogue between a cave painter and the tribal chief who’s trying to fire him: “Muck, I want you to know you’ve been a real asset to the tribe.”

“Thank you, sir. If you have a moment, I’d like to talk to you about a concept I’ve been developing. It’s sort of a Mastadon Hunt meets Ritual Sacrifice with a touch of the romance of Herd of Bison.”

“These will be finger paintings, then?”

“Yes sir. Of course.”

The chief sighs. “Muck, I’m afraid we’re going to have to go in a different direction.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Our studies show that audiences aren’t reacting to finger paintings anymore. We’ve got this young kid coming up who’s really amazing with a brush.”

“A brush! You’re turning me out for a brush hack? Sir, the brush is just a fad. It’ll never last. And do you have any idea what brushes are going to do to your production budget?” Finger painting is the past and the future of cave paintings.”

“Actually, he has a notion to start painting on hides. So people can take the paintings with them. It’s very revolutionary stuff.”

“Take the paintings with them? Who would want to do that? Paintings are a communal experience. In fact, I’m working on a new large-format process. Some people are calling it the ‘mural,’ but I prefer “Cavema-scope!”

“I’m sorry, Muck. We’ve already signed him to a three picture deal.”

I mentioned to my wife my idealized vision of life in prehistoric times, hoping to lure her into a simpler lifestyle. I gave her the pitch about the fire, the smoke signals and the wheel. I explained to her all of the inconveniences of modern life that cavemen needn’t endure. She smiled and replied matter-of-factly, “no, they only had to worry about not being eaten.” Touché.

• Were those the winds of change that just blew through Chelsea? We’ll see… #fb #
• I can’t decide if today is the first day of the rest of my life or the last day of the first part. #
• I thought Sotomayor was where Thomas the Tank Engine lived. You abortion protesters leave Thomas alone! #fb #sotomayor #
• RT @lightshiptv: CASTING CALL – Shoot this Wednesday @ Disney 7AM – 1PM, email disneycasting@lightshiptv.com for more info! #
• RT @NASA: Shuttle Endeavour’s fueling is complete. Launch is schedule for a 6:51pm ET, with weather being the only concern. #
• RT @lightshiptv: Wednesday shoot moved to Thursday! Disney 7AM – 1PM, email disneycasting@lightshiptv.com for more info! #
• RT @NASA: NASA Briefing — Restored Apollo 11 Moonwalk Video: NASA will hold a media briefing at 11 a.m. EDT.. http://tinyurl.com/ldhpmf #
• T-3 hours and counting for the launch of STS-127. #
• Call it the Tivo Effect: my 3 y.o. thought turning off the TV would postpone the STS-127 launch until after his nap. #tivo #nasa #
• BREAKING: Gov’t agency locks several top scientists and pilots in metal tube atop high explosives, plans to cast them outside atmosphere. #
• Microsoft Office to go online — for free! http://ow.ly/hbdI #
• I’m no “rocket srugeon,” but what are the chances NASA could shoot for a morning launch window to avoid these storms? #
• My son is now crying because we won’t see the “wocket” launch today. #nasa #
• I’m ready for the World’s Fair to come back to the US. Was fortunate to go to NOLA ’84. Who else has been to a World’s Fair? #
• Morning all! Today: Be responsible and sit in a dark hole to edit? Or play hooky and do something frivolous with the kiddos? Hmm… #
• Dear Twitter users: Sticking a “tw” on the front of every other word doesn’t make you clever. It reads like a speech impediment. Carry on. #
• I check my e-mail the way other people check their watches when I’m talking to them: all too frequently. #
• Every time I glance up and see Judge Sotomayor on TV, I wonder why Roseanne is testifying before Congress. Seriously. #
• RT @jason_ed: Worst Over for US Adv. – but revenue growth won’t resume ’til late 2011 http://bit.ly/9cJyy (TV ad rev down 14% – no kidding!) #
• Thanks to @ExpoMuseum for RT’ing my rant/wish for the return of the World’s Fair to the US! #
• Is it too late for a nap? #
• My first post for al.com’s group TV blog is now live! (And in color!) http://blog.al.com/tv/ #
• Hey! I just noticed that @aldotcom bumped my blog post to the main TV page! (Must be a slow TV news day.) http://www.al.com/tv/ #
• Let the Commie Madness Begin! http://bit.ly/NvZto #
• You beat me to it, @thejasonsears ! Great lunch and great fellowship — a spiritually uplifting answer to prayer. Follow the man! #
• You’re descending to become the first men to step on the lunar surface. What do you talk about? Now you can know: http://bit.ly/oA0oO #
• RT @NASA: Launch managers have given shuttle Endeavour the “go” for a 6:03pm ET liftoff. Watch live @ http://www.nasa.gov/ntv — Finally! #
• Chitty Chitty Bang Bang meet Little Caesar’s. Little Caesar’s, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. #
• Okay, Twitter. I’m bored. What else ya got? #
• NASA TV is showing handheld HD footage from the shuttle of the external fuel tank falling back to Earth. AMAZING! #
• Okay, finally going to bed… I think. #
• Morning all! Currently contemplating the “magnificent desolation” of NASA-TV. I smell a blog post coming on… #
• Whoa! Sudden power outage. Thank you, UPS battery! #
• Just noticed that my good friends @OutpostPictures have joined the Twitter revolution! Super talented group of filmmakers – follow them! #
• RT @Astro_127: From orbit: This was so worth the wait. What a spectacular launch. Earth is breathtaking. Time for bed now. #
• My e-mail’s been quiet for two hours. Am I dead, and no one told me? #
• I’m addicted to NASA TV. Blog post about it coming shortly to al.com… #
• If you’re a space nut, check out my new @aldotcom blog post: NASA Offers Magnificent TV Desolation: http://bit.ly/CIFnf #
• Morning all! Elmo’s thinking about dinosaurs today. #
• Okay, who out there watches home organization shows — Clean Sweep, Clean House, etc? What’s your favorite and why? #
• RT @jimmerk: Check out John Hick’s “Daniel’s Daily Monster” on Flickr… http://bit.ly/pzLEX (Awesome! I smell a book deal…) #
• Just used my new (to me) riding mower for the first time, and it started belching smoke before I was halfway through. I hate lawnmowers! #
• RT @OutpostPictures: Outpost teams w/Rabinowitz for Red Giant, handling graphics, effects, & audio post. http://bit.ly/DGQ5p #
• RT @CurseYouKhan: Crocs™ go extinct http://tinyurl.com/nhj6sc (Charge $35 for a wad of rubber & lose $185 mil? Sounds like JeffCo mgmt.) #
• RT @jodrellbank: Check out @LRO_NASA’s amazing images of the Apollo landing sites from lunar orbit! http://tinyurl.com/lro-apollo #
• Okay, one more tomato sandwich, then I’m setting up a SmugMug site for my lovely bride, @PicMama (who doesn’t use her Twitter acct.) #
• Just had a great conversation with new VP of Development at Pink Sneakers, Shari Solomon Cedar. Can’t wait to get to work on our projects! #
• RT @mashable: RIP Walter Cronkite, former anchorman of CBS Evening News – http://bit.ly/17IK6O #
• Sobering fact: when Neil Armstrong was my age, he’d already been home from the moon for a year. #
• The US Space & Rocket Ctr will host Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination in 2010! http://bit.ly/U0AZM (Saw it in Ft. Worth – amazing!) #
• Mowed the lawn w/out kiling the mower today & broke out the mountain bike for the 1st time in… years. Double score! #
• “Carry on, my wayward son…” 70s on 7 plays while we wait for the movie at the drive in. #
• “White shores… and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.” Re-watching Return of the King. #lotr #fb #
• Coffee on the deck in fall-like temps was heavenly this morn. Now off to church! #
• Last night I dreamt I was in a small-ish, but labyrinthine, suburban home being chased through by Darth Vader. Interpretations? #
• So excited for my daughter who (finally) learned to ride her bike today! #